Monday, September 23, 2013

Dear Eight-Months-Pregnant Mom,

Dear eight-months-pregnant mom,

You have to put up with a lot. Not only do you have a child testing out their karate skills inside your body, your body just doesn't seem to want to work the same way any more. Bending over is no longer an option. You have this intense need to pee every three minutes so you do your best waddle-run into the bathroom only to go 5 drops.

You beg for sleep, daydream about sleep, only to realize, once you do lay down, that sleep will never come to you. Between your aches and pains, the babies uncanny ability to get hiccups at 1 a.m. every morning, and the frequent, necessary trips to the bathroom to squeeze out 5 drops, you won't ever really sleep.

But you're doing a good job. Feel that little one's upper cut to your ribs, or pelvis, or other body part you didn't really know could feel pain until they made it their favorite punching bag, and realize just how healthy he is! He's gonna be one strong kid!

Sure you're running on little amounts of sleep. Sure your older kids ate sugar-coated pieces of colored, puffed corn, went to school with crazy, cat-lady hair they did themselves, without a coat. It got up to 70 by the end of the day! They didn't loose any limbs to frostbite! You're doing excellent! You're growing a child inside of you. And just because pregnant brain and exhaustion kick in every once in a while (or every ten minutes), doesn't mean you didn't make sure they ate something before school, complimented the creativity of the crazy, cat-lady hair (and silently prayed her teacher would understand), and checked to make sure it wasn't limb-loosing, frostbite temperatures outside. You did! And you should feel pretty fantastic about it.

I know you're in pain. I see you slowly waddle and it leaves no doubt that your hips are out of place by at least two inches, your back is throbbing because it's being bent at too much of an angle trying to hold up that extra watermelon growth, and your ankles are clearly three times the size they use to be. But you are beautiful. That penguin walk has its own weird kind of grace to it.

 Sure you didn't do your hair today. Or yesterday. Or possibly the day before. Sure you're wearing your husbands 3x large shirt and stretchy gym shorts because, even with weather that only gets up to 70, it's too dang hot, and those clothes are way more comfy than any maternity outfit ever thought of being (and they may or may not be the only thing that still fit...). Sure you cleaned the kids toys up, on your butt, by using your vacuum extension to suck toys and garbage over to you, because it was way too hard to bend over and pick up every flipping toy, but you are beautiful.

 The pony tail look is totally in right now. And remember how in every 80's and 90's romantic comedy the girl always shows up looking totally sexy in the boy's shirt? I'm pretty sure that attractiveness still counts at eight months pregnant. And, seriously, you cleaned? Whether on your butt or not that earns some major applauding from all pregnant women/mothers everywhere! Way to go!

So I guess what I'm trying to say is, you go sleep-deprived, pain-ridden, ponytail-sporting, pregnant girl! You are doing fantastic! And soon that little one will be here. And you'll still be sleep-deprived, pain-ridden, and pony-tail sporting for the next couple of months...But, hey, you won't be pregnant any more! And that's something to celebrate.